Biosquare 2
by Chiefie
Summary: When another biosquare project begins at P.S.118, hearts brew when two somewhat unlikely people are placed together.


Biosquare 2: Part One By Chief  
  
(Arnold's House. Morning, before school)  
  
Arnold: (counting of items on list) Let's see: toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, pajamas, and water! Yea, Grandpa, I think I'm ready.  
  
Grandpa: That's good, short man. Wouldn't want you to be all smelly when you came back, or have bad breath either. Don't want to scare the ladies away.  
  
Arnold: I can't believe we have to do ANOTHER biosquare project. At least the whole class is dong it this time.  
  
Grandpa: That's looking on the bright side, Arnold. And maybe this time you won't have to spend the night with the cranky kid with the one eyebrow, like you did last year.  
  
Arnold: Yeah, maybe so. I might even end up with Lila.(begins to daydream, but Grandpa snaps him out of it).  
  
Grandpa: Keep you head in the game, short man! Go get in the Packard; it's time to leave!  
  
(Meanwhile, at Stinky Petersen's house)  
  
Pa: What's wrong, son? You've barely touched you bacon and eggs this morning.  
  
Stinky: I reckon I'm just nervous, on account of I don't wanna end up with somebody I don't get along with.  
  
Pa: Now, you'd be a dang fool for not trying to make new friends while you're out there over night. Just don't worry about it, and have a good time.  
  
Stinky: Thanks, Pa; I'll see you tomorrow (hugs his father). I gotta catch the bus. Don't wanna be late!  
  
Pa: Bye, Stinky.  
  
(Meanwhile, at the domicile of Helga G. Pataki)  
  
Helga (to her Arnold locket, dreamily): Oh, Arnold! Today I will have another chance to rekindle our troubles from which commenced at our last biosquare project. I pray that our two souls shall be in this confinement once again, and it shall be my solemn vow to try to be kind this time! (Swoons).  
  
Miriam (knocking on door): Helga, dear, are you ready to go to school?  
  
Helga: Yeah, yeah, sure, Miriam. Let's just get this over with. (Goes downstairs). See you tomorrow after school, Bob.  
  
Big Bob: What? Where are you going to be until then?  
  
Helga: Remember? The biosquare project I've been talking about for weeks!  
  
Bob: Oh, whatever. Goodbye, Olga.  
  
Helga: Helga, dad, Helga!  
  
Miriam: See you at dinner, dear!  
  
Helga: Crimeny!  
  
(Same time. Lila's house)  
  
Lila's Father: Is something wrong, honey? You've been awful quiet this morning.  
  
Lila: I guess I'm just a little scared that I might end up with Arnold today. He is just ever so nice, but I just can't get him to understand that I don't like him like him, I just like him.  
  
Lila's Father: Don't worry about it. I've already talked to your teacher and he said he wouldn't assign you in the same biosquare with him.  
  
Lila: Oh, thank you ever so much, daddy. (Hugs her father). I'll see you tomorrow.  
  
Lila's father: Goodbye, Lila.  
  
(Everyone arrives at school)  
  
(P.S. 118, Mr. Simmons' room, 8:00am).  
  
Mr. Simmons: Alright, class! As you all know, I was so extremely impressed by the last biosquare project, it's time for all of you to have this special experience! (Mixed reactions from class) Does everyone still have the information packets and rules? Great now, this is supposed to be a special and rewarding experience, and.(Helga interrupts)  
  
Helga: Aw Crimeny, Simmons, just get to the partner assigning!  
  
Mr. Simmons: All right, then.Helga. Well, last night, I was thinking of a special way to do this, so I just decided to draw your names at random! (Class groans). All right, let's see, now. Arnold, you will be staying with Phoebe in biosquare 1.  
  
Phoebe: I can't wait to put our craniums together to solve the perplexities of the ant farm, Mr. Simmons. Through frequent observations, of course. (Simmons continues to rattle off assignments)  
  
Arnold: Uhh.sure, Phoebe.  
  
Mr. Simmons: Okay, in biosquare 4 will be the special teaming of Arnold and Brainy! Now in number 5.  
  
Brainy: Wow.uh, yeah.  
  
Helga (to Phoebe): Oh great, Phebes! 24 hours with Breath Boy!  
  
Mr. Simmons: Now occupying biosquare 8 will be Gerald and Eugene.  
  
Gerald (mutters): Aw, man! I'm dead for sure! Eugene's a jinx!  
  
Eugene: Oh, boy. Gerald! I can't wait to work with you, I'm sure we'll just have a fantastic time watching the ants! (Falls over in desk) I'm okay.  
  
Mr. Simmons: All right. Now, finally, we have Lila and Stinky in biosquare 10! Now class, get your stuff together, for in 15 minutes your special adventure will begin! (Sid goes over to Stinky)  
  
Sid: Well, Stinky, are you glad you are with Lila for the next 24 hours?  
  
Stinky: I reckon it won't be that bad, on account of Lila's such a nice person and all.  
  
Sid: You got it much better than me. I can't believe I'm stuck with Curly.  
  
Curly: HAHAHA!!! Set fire to the plants!! Ants shall rule the world!!  
  
Stinky: I see what you mean. (Arnold motions to him) Well, I'll see you later, Sid. It looks like Arnold wants to speak with me.  
  
(Meanwhile, Lila is talking to her nearby friends)  
  
Rhonda: Well, I'm just proud that I ended up with Peapod Kid. I mean, it could just be SO much worse.  
  
Helga: Yeah, you could get stuck with the amazing breath boy like I did.  
  
Rhonda: Well, Lila? Are you happy with your partner or not?  
  
Lila: I guess Stinky will be fine. It will give me a chance to know oh-so- much more about him.  
  
Helga: Just don't get your hopes up with lemon pudding boy.  
  
Lila: Yeah.  
  
(Stinky walks over to Arnold)  
  
Arnold: Hey Stinky. I know I don't usually ask you to do this kind of thing, but this one time, can you do me a huge favor.  
  
Stinky: Well, Arnold, I guess so, on account of you've helped be through all my down times.  
  
Arnold: Since you are working with Lila, I was wondering if you could help me out and.make me look good so she might like me, like me, instead of just like me?  
  
Stinky: Well, if that's what you want, Arnold, I reckon I'll try. And guessing by Mr. Simmons talkin', it's time to start the project. See you later, Arnold.  
  
Arnold: I'll see you Stinky, and thanks!  
  
(Everyone leaves for their designated areas)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Biosquare 2, Part 3  
  
(Everyone is heading for their areas, when Helga stops Phoebe)  
  
Helga: Hey, Phebes! See this walkie-talkie? I want you to put this in your biosquare and keep it on at all times, and be sure to keep it hidden, all right?  
  
Phoebe: If you don't mind, Helga, I must inquire as to.  
  
Helga: Just do it, Phoebe! And, just between us, make me look good, okay? I'll have one in my room.  
  
Phoebe: Yes, Helga. I'll try! (Phoebe leaves)  
  
Helga: My plan is working beautifully! Now I'll get to hear every luscious word that oozes from my love's quiet lips! And they better not be about Lila! (Brainy walks up)  
  
Brainy: Uh.Hi.  
  
Helga: All right, let's get something straight, Geek Bait! See that corner? (Brainy nods) I want you to haul your sorry self over there and leave the experiments to me! If you say one word, you'll have to answer to Old Betsy! Understand?  
  
Brainy: Uh.yeah. (Goes to his corner)  
  
Helga: Now let's see what Football Head's up to.(listens through walkie- talkie)  
  
Arnold: Well, I guess we're here.  
  
Phoebe: It was quite generous of Mr. Simmons to assemble our ant farm for us, so we can commence our observation immediately.  
  
Arnold: Yeah, it should be interesting to see how the red and black ants survive in there.  
  
Phoebe: I am sure it will.  
  
Arnold: And this year they will finally be in peace, and won't have to deal with Helga's ranting. Sometimes she can be irritating.  
  
Helga (listening): Crimeny! What's with the insults! If I had that stupid football head here right now, I'd.(cut off)  
  
Arnold: But sometimes she's not all that bad.  
  
Helga: Just stare into those two wonderful eyes of his and tell him how wonderful he is! His sheer kindness, his desire to always be an optimist! (Swoons) (Brainy wheezes from behind Helga, and Helga punches him)  
  
Helga: I TOLD you to stay in your own corner!  
  
(Meanwhile, at Gerald and Eugene's biosquare)  
  
Gerald: All right, man. What we need to do here is just let me handle everything. Okay?  
  
Eugene: I can handle things, too! We're going to have so much fun!  
  
Gerald: Yeah, as long as you don't touch anything.  
  
Eugene (Picks up ant farm, takes off lid) Wow, you can see the ants much differently from above!  
  
Gerald: Put that back on, Eugene!  
  
Eugene: Don't worry, Gerald. I'll be extra careful! (Backs into plant, trips, and spills the ant farm everywhere) Oops.  
  
Gerald: Why do I have to be with Eugene.  
  
(At Lila and Stinky's biosquare)  
  
Lila: Don't you think the plants in here are just oh-so pretty, Stinky?  
  
Stinky: Yup, I reckon they are.  
  
Lila: I remember when we lived on our farm community last year. It was just ever so beautiful, with no buildings or pollution, kind of like this biosquare. I wish we never did leave.  
  
Stinky: If you liked it so much, Lila, why did you leave?  
  
Lila: Well, our farm used to be run by my mother and father, and we had enough money to keep our farm alive for years.  
  
Stinky: Then what happened?  
  
Lila: One day my mother was going into town with our latest harvest, and was hit by what they said was an oncoming truck. Our crops were destroyed, and my mother was killed. (Sobs) It was just ever so sad.  
  
Stinky (hugs Lila): I'm sorry, Lila. That something bad like that would happen to a nice girl like you.  
  
Lila. Yeah. (Back to normal) After the accident, we had to sell our farm and use what ever so little money we had to but a house here, where my daddy could get a job. This place is okay, but I miss my old friends, just ever so much.  
  
Stinky: You have some friends here, on account of I always see you hanging around people.  
  
Lila: Rhonda, Nadine, and the girls are great, but it's impossible to replace what I had there.  
  
Stinky: What about Arnold? Did he help any?  
  
Lila: Well, Arnold has been just ever so sweet and good to me since I moved here, but I just can't get him to understand that I don't like him like him, I just like him.  
  
Stinky: Yup. He's always talking about you.  
  
Lila: (walks over to ant farm, changes subject) That's strange.the ants are just sitting there, they should be working by now.  
  
Stinky: Maybe they're tired, on account of it's been a long day.  
  
Lila (grabs Stinky's hand): Or maybe they're just waiting for something oh- so-special to happen between them.  
  
Stinky: It's getting late. I reckon we should get some sleep.  
  
Lila: You're right. (Climbs into sleeping bag) I'll see you in the morning, Stinky.  
  
Stinky: Good night, miss Lila (gets into sleeping bag)  
  
(They both drift off into sleep).  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Biosquare 2, Part 4  
  
(The next morning, Saturday, Helga's room)  
  
Helga: I can't believe I'm still surviving in this bio-nerd bubble! And to make matters worse, I'm stuck here with Breath Boy, the most annoying person on the whole planet! (Imitates wheezing). Thanks goodness he's asleep now. I guess that means I can check on the old Football Head then.(goes over to walkie-talkie)  
  
Arnold: (watching through the glass, Phoebe sleeping) Wow, Lila looks so beautiful when she's asleep. I hope Stinky's doing a good job. She's just so smart and funny and pretty, I wish I only knew why she didn't like me like me, but just like me. We only have two hours left, so I guess I'll find out how Stinky did soon.  
  
Helga: Crimeny! Is that all he talks about, science and Lila! Arnold. What a dreamy, do-goody little geek. How I despise him.(pulls out locket) and yet, I love him! If only he could see me the same way I see him. If only for one moment, it could be true! If only. (Hears Brainy's wheezing, and punches him) Crimeny! I THOUGHT that creep was asleep!  
  
(About 30 minutes later, Gerald and Eugene's)  
  
Eugene: Good morning, Gerald! It's such a beautiful morning, isn't it? The sunrise looks so beautiful and everything just feels so happy!  
  
Gerald: (mumbles) At least I'm about to get out of this torture.  
  
Eugene: Oh, you're just still grumpy about having to sleep on the ground, aren't you?  
  
Gerald: Well, I wouldn't have had to if somebody didn't decide to build a campfire on top of our sleeping bags and nearly have burned down the entire biosquare! We're not even supposed to build campfires in here!  
  
Eugene: I know, but we needed to be warm and happy, right? And look at it this way, neither of us got hurt. (Doesn't pay attention, and runs into wall of biosquare) I'm okay.  
  
Gerald (begging): Why can't it just end? Please, just let it end.  
  
(30 minutes later, Lila and Stinky's biosquare. Lila wakes up to see Stinky with breakfast.)  
  
Stinky: Good morning, miss Lila! I brought this handy little grill with me and made you some eggs, on account of you must be hungry after the long night.  
  
Lila: Why thank you, Stinky! That was just ever so sweet of you to think of me and make me breakfast. (Eats, long pause). Stinky, there's something I need to tell you, and it's kind of important.  
  
Stinky: Yes, Lila?  
  
Lila: You know, when I originally heard I was working with you, I was ever so certain I was not going to like it, since I really didn't know you very well and I heard Arnold talking to you about setting me up with him.  
  
Stinky: Well, I understand why you wouldn't wanna work with me, on account of I'm really nothing special.  
  
Lila: What I guess I'm trying to say is that after I have gotten the chance to talk to you and learn oh so much more about you, I think I am starting to not just even like you, but like you like you.  
  
Stinky: Really?  
  
Lila: (nods) Um-Hmm. (pauses) It's almost time to go.  
  
Stinky: (awkwardly) Yep, I reckon it is.  
  
Lila: (another pause) It really is such a beautiful day, isn't it?  
  
Stinky: It sure is, and I'm sure that's because you're with me. (Grabs Lila's hand) Lila, I.I.I think I love you.  
  
(Stinky and Lila look into each other's eyes and are about to kiss. Stinky pulls back, and sees Arnold standing outside their biosquare, furious.)  
  
Stinky: Uh oh. I reckon we're in trouble.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Biosquare 2, Part 5  
  
(Arnold enters Stinky and Lila's biosquare)  
  
Arnold (angrily): Oh, it's time to leave. That is, unless you guys are two busy doing something else! (Storms off)  
  
Stinky: Gosh, I reckon I forgot all about Arnold, on account of I was so interested in you, Lila. I guess I should apologize to him. (Starts walking to class)  
  
Lila: I have told him over and over I don't like him like him, I just like him. But still, I guess it would be the right thing to do.  
  
Stinky: At least after we get to Mr. Simmons' class, we have the rest of the weekend off, so I can think of what to tell him.  
  
Lila: (hugs Stinky) I guess I'll see you Monday, Stinky. I'll be looking oh- so-forward to it.  
  
(Helga spots Arnold storming by)  
  
Helga: Wow, looks like Arnold's really upset about something. Probably about that goody-goody Lila. I guess I'll talk to him about it later.  
  
(Everyone, now in Mr. Simmons class)  
  
Simmons: All right, how did everyone enjoy themselves? (Mixed reactions) Since you have the rest of the day off, you will start working on your special presentations when we get back from the weekend. (Bell rings) I'll see you Monday, class!  
  
(On the bus home. Helga sits down by Arnold, who is looking extremely depressed.)  
  
Helga: Alright Football Head, tell me what's wrong.  
  
Arnold: (Sighs) I tried to get Stinky to set me up with Lila during their biosquare project, and it backfired. They fell in love with each other! First Arnie, and now this! I mean, what's so wrong with me.  
  
Helga: Well, maybe Stinky has that oh-so-special something she's looking for, just like Arnie did. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, you know.  
  
Arnold: Yeah, I just felt like she was THE one.(bus stops) Oh, it's time for me to go. I'll see you later, Helga.  
  
Helga: See you, Arnold.  
  
(Gerald follows Arnold off the bus)  
  
Gerald: Man, what are you doing spending so much time with Helga Pataki, again!  
  
Arnold: Well, she did sit down beside me.  
  
Gerald: You still upset about Stinky and Lila?  
  
Arnold: How do you know about that already? I didn't tell you.  
  
Gerald: I'm a man of the world, my brother.  
  
Arnold: I'll talk to you about it later.  
  
Gerald: Okay, call me, man.  
  
Arnold: I'll see you later.  
  
(Arnold goes inside)  
  
Ernie: Hey, look! Arnold's back!  
  
Oscar: Did you bring me any presents? (Laughs)  
  
Grandpa (in the kitchen) Hey, it's Arnold, back from his project. How's it going, short man?  
  
Arnold: Not too good, Grandpa. I've got this problem, and.  
  
Grandpa: Ah, one of your young boyhood problems, eh? Why don't you sit down and tell me all about it.  
  
Arnold: You remember Lila, right?  
  
Grandpa: Lila? Oh, that cute little girl with pigtails that doesn't like you like you, but just likes you?  
  
Arnold: Yeah. See, she was paired up with Stinky for the project. And even though Stinky was going to set me up, but they fell in love with each other instead. Now what am I supposed to do?  
  
Grandpa: Well, let me tell you, when I was a lad I had this same problem and I.Well, frankly, I have no idea what I did then. Well, looks like you're on your own, short man.  
  
Arnold: (sighs) I'll be upstairs, Grandpa. (Goes upstairs to his room)  
  
(Lila's house, Saturday evening.)  
  
Lila's father: So, I take it you had a good time while you were gone.  
  
Lila: Yeah, at first I was nervous about having to stay with Stinky, but he turned out to be just ever-so sweet.  
  
Lila's father: I'm just glad you made a friend, honey.  
  
Lila: Yeah.(thinking) I just hope that Arnold isn't too upset.  
  
(Arnold's house, same time)  
  
Arnold: I guess I'll go ahead and call Gerald. (Calls, no response) Must not be home. (Pauses) I'm just not sure what to do. Maybe I should just give up. (Pauses) No, I couldn't do that. I know she doesn't like me like me, but that's no reason to stop trying. She's just so pretty and smart and funny.  
  
(Stinky's house, the next evening. Pa walks in Stinky's room to see him, staring blankly at the wall.)  
  
Pa: Is something wrong, son? You've said hardly a word since you came home yesterday morning.  
  
Stinky: I don't know, I reckon I'm just depressed or something.  
  
Pa: Well, since you looked so blue, I made you a cheese sandwich.  
  
Stinky: No thanks, Pa.  
  
Pa: Can I.have the cheese sandwich, then?  
  
Stinky: I guess so, Pa.  
  
Pa (excited): Whoo, doggies! (Starts to leave, but stopped by Stinky)  
  
Stinky: Wait, Pa! I got a question for you.  
  
Pa: Yeah, Stinky?  
  
Stinky: What should I do if I made my friend mad because I started liking the girl that he liked? Should I apologize to my friend or date the girl?  
  
Pa: Well, in all honesty, son, you're not the best-looking guy and you probably aren't going to get a whole lot of attention from women. But do what you wanna do, son.  
  
Stinky: Yeah, I reckon I got some thinking to do. Maybe I should sleep on it one more night, and I'll think of something to do. Pa: Maybe so. (Hugs Stinky) Good night, son.  
  
Stinky: Good night, Pa.  
  
(Stinky drifts off to sleep.)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Biosquare 2, Part 6  
  
(At school, Stinky sees Lila down the hallway, facing the other way.)  
  
Stinky: Hey wait up Lila! (Stinky begins to run towards her, but begins to be surrounded by images of Arnold)  
  
Arnolds: Why? Why would you do this to me? How could you break my heart? (Stinky keeps running, surrounded by these images. When he finally gets to Lila, she turns around and it is Arnold's face)  
  
Arnold: Why, Stinky? Why?  
  
(Stinky wakes up screaming, and Pa rushes in.)  
  
Pa: Are you okay, son? You were screaming.  
  
Stinky: Sorry, pa. I reckon I had a nightmare.  
  
Pa: Well, good night. Try to get some sleep (Pa leaves).  
  
Stinky: It's gonna be hard, but I know what I gotta do (falls asleep).  
  
(The next day, at lunchtime.)  
  
Stinky: Well, there she is. I guess I need to tell her, on account of Arnold will never speak to me again otherwise. (Walks over to Lila.) Hello, Lila.  
  
Lila (hugs Stinky, to his reluctance) Hey, Stinky! I am ever so glad to see you after being apart yesterday. I was thinking that we could (Stinky interrupts).  
  
Stinky: I'm sorry, Lila. As much as I really like you, I'm afraid that I just can't take you as my girl.  
  
Lila (on the verge of tears) But why not?  
  
Stinky: I was supposed to help Arnold out when I ended up destroyin' his heart. Now I gotta keep my promise to Arnold, on account of friends are forever, and I can't have Arnold hate me the rest of my life.  
  
Lila: I don't understand.it's just that I love.  
  
Stinky: I'm sorry Lila. (Stinky walks over to Arnold, while Lila is now sobbing)  
  
Stinky: Hey there, Arnold.  
  
Arnold (glares): What do you want.  
  
Stinky: I came to tell you I'm sorry for what I did to you. It was a selfish and misbegotten act on my part. I reckon if you're willing to forgive me, I'll just try to help you out again.  
  
Arnold: Well, I guess it took a lot of courage to come and tell me that, and for that, I'll forgive you Stinky (shakes his hand).  
  
Stinky: Thanks, Arnold.  
  
Arnold: Now if I can just find a way to get her to like me like me, instead of just like me.  
  
(Meanwhile, Gerald sees Lila crying, and sits down by her)  
  
Gerald: Hey there, Lila. What's wrong?  
  
Lila: Stinky.he.he.  
  
Gerald: Stinky break up with you?  
  
Lila: Uh huh.  
  
Gerald: I'm sorry, Lila. But maybe he wasn't the best guy for you, anyway. There still are many fish in the sea, my friend, and there's always Arnold.  
  
Lila: But.I don't.  
  
Gerald: I know you don't like him, like him, but why don't just give him a chance. I mean, he really likes you, I mean you're all he thinks about. Why not just give him a shot?  
  
Lila: I guess I'll try...  
  
Gerald: Thanks, Lila. (Bell rings, and he gets up) I'll see you later.  
  
Lila: Bye.  
  
(Immediately after lunch, during recess. Lila walks over to Arnold.)  
  
Lila: Hello, Arnold.  
  
Arnold: (surprised) Hey, Lila. How are you doing?  
  
Lila: I'm doing just ever so fine, Arnold, thanks for asking. How are you today?  
  
Arnold: I'm doing great.  
  
(The continue their conversation while Stinky watches from afar.)  
  
Stinky (to himself) Well, I reckon I did the right thing. Although it hurts to be without her, he can't possibly like her forever. I'll get my chance. (Smiles, walks away)  
  
(Meanwhile Helga is watching, as well)  
  
Helga: Crimeny! Arnold, once again, drooling all over that Lila. Yet, he can't possibly like her forever. I'll get my chance, and that football head will be mine!  
  
The End  
  
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